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I’m Natasha, a late twenty-something, living in the South with my crazy-wonderful New Yorker husband, Anthony, our brood of soon-to-be five and our two dogs. Join us as we share our adventures, get healthy, and manage life with five kids & our two crazy pups! I hope to always leave you inspired when you stop by my little corner of the internet, I'm so glad you're here! :)




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He's here!!

Ezra Lee is finally here!

Ezra Lee finally made his debut Thursday morning at 3:39 AM after a long induced labor. 

At almost 43 weeks pregnant, Ezra Lee was scheduled a forced eviction after going way over his EDD and showing no signs of labor for three weeks. I know, I know. I got on my soap box and preached about natural labor and delivery in a post previously. However, I didn't expect to go three weeks over my due date and my body showing hardly any progress in dilating and effacement. 

My whole birth plan went out the window and I was completely devastated. Sometimes things happen that are extremely out of our control and we have to be accepting of it. At 7 am Wednesday morning I was admitted into the hospital to start my induction. Though they didn't start my (many) rounds of Pitocin until about two hours that morning. 

Here is the time line of how everything went::

12:00 pm: still no change in cervix or steady contractions. bumps dosage of pitocin
1:00 pm: checked cervix still no change and or steady contractions, bumps dosage of pitocin. 
6:15 pm: Still no change in cervix. bumps dosage of pitocin
7:15 pm: checks cervix, still no change dumps dosage of pitocin to the max and the start of steady contractions begin.
7:30 pm: Contractions are finally strong, steady and on top of each other. Couldn't take the pain of forced contractions. Requested epidural.
8:15 pm: Contractions are steady enough, water is broken with needle. Flood gates open. Amniotic fluid gushes out everywhere. 
10:00 pm: Cervix starts to change and efface but pitocin is still needed.
10:30 pm-2AM: was able to sleep.
2:30 AM: rudely awakened by sharp unbearable pain and feeling nauseated...Called the nurse: Epidural is maxed out and wearing off. I end up becoming sick and vomiting due to the transition.
3:00 AM: Felt the need to push, called the nurse and started the birth process 
3:30 AM: Doctor enters the room and I begin to really push.
3:39 AM: All 8 pounds and 12 ounces of Ezra Lee is born.

Forced (semi-natural) child birth has a way of embedding itself into your brain forever. 

This is my third child, my body should remember how give birth. However, apparently mine had forgotten the process. I remember waking up in a cold sweat at 2:30 in the morning feeling sick to my stomach and calling my nurse. Which she barely got to me in time before I ended up throwing up all over both of us due to transitioning. Finally at 3 AM, I wake up Anthony telling him I'm ready, called the nurse and we begin the birth process. 

I've never seen such bravery in a delivery room... Anthony rushed to my side and helped aide me in pushing all while cheering me on as our son was being born. Not once did he bat an eyelash or squirmed away. He cheered me on with encouraging words like "Great job!" "You're doing so good baby!" and "You're amazing!"I really couldn't have asked for a better partner. 

I didn't anticipate how much pain I would be in with a induction. I felt my whole body change, my cervix dilate and widen. With every gasp and push I felt every inch of his body exit my body. Nothing can express how amazing it is to actually be able to feel what your body already knows what to do. I listened to my body and it all suddenly felt like second nature. I knew when to push and when to pause and rest. I didn't cry or scream, Anthony said I took child birth like a champion. Only letting out large gasps at the end of each push. 

There were moments where I felt the extreme exhaustion and fatigue. At times I felt so weak but I kept going. I kept on and pushed through everything. Then, suddenly, in all his wonderful glory he was here. My precious little gift that I have been so anxiously waiting for was finally here. 

Ezra came on the sixth year anniversary of my mothers death.

Six years ago, I lost my mother to a massive heart attack.

I've experienced so much guilt and have felt so much pain and grief since. I felt the guilt of failing to take her to the doctor like I should have just days before her death. I have and always will feel responsible for her death.

I feel like Ezra was given to me as a way of saying it wasn't my fault. That it was her time to go and to not be sad anymore. I can't even begin to tell you how much sorrow, guilt and hurt I've felt these six years. 

With the birth of Ezra, I've experienced so many wonderful blessings. Not just for me but for those around me as well. A mother who desperately wanted grandchildren, became a grandmother. A man who wanted a family, became a father and a husband. A young woman so wanted so much for her children was blessed with everything she ever asked for. 

I was blessed by God.  

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